300

Directed by: Zack Snyder
Starring: Gerard Butler
Based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller

Looking for the ultimate guys night out? Just follow these simple instructions for a celebration of all things testosterone...

Step 1: Round up a bunch of immature, emotionally handicapped, beer-swilling buddies (cost: $0).

Step 2: Hit your local "adult entertainment" establishment for a pre-movie drink (cost: approx $10.00 but your mileage may vary).

Step 3: Go see 300 (cost: $9.00).

Step 4: Post-movie beer and chicken wings at Hooters (cost: varies depending on your level of alcoholism $10.00 - $100.00).

Step 5: Bask in the glory of feeling like a Spartan warrior. Women swoon and lesser men tremble at your sheer awesomeness (cost: Priceless).

While I've never actually read Frank Miller's graphic novel, I did read Steven Pressfield's Gates of Fire about eight years ago and I remember thinking at the time that it would make an awesome movie. Well, nearly a decade later computer animation has finally caught up with my imagination and brought this ultra-violent spectacle to life on the big screen.

Blood sprays profusely in anime-style abundance. Limbs and heads are cleaved from their bodies. Spears, swords, axes and arrows eviscerate, skewer and generally perforate unlucky victims. All with a grinding, techno-rock track pounding in the background. This, my friends is the ULTIMATE guys movie...



The CGI visuals evoke a hazy, dreamlike quality, which is actually perfect for a film that would have seemed absurd and cheesy if it had been filmed in the "traditional" fashion. In fact, if you can look beyond the brutal, gritty violence you will see a visual work of art that is incredibly beautiful in it's own right.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go slaughter some Persians. Wait....What? The Persian Empire collapsed over 2000 years ago? I guess I'll just have to make do with my stuffed animals then...Allright Mr. Fuzzy Bear/God-King Xerxes, prepare for some Spartan ass-whooping!

Score: 10/12 monkeys