Saint Patrick's Day is just around the corner and that means that any self-respecting (or self-loathing) Irishman will be having a drink or two. Before you lift that first pint of Guinness, however, be aware that ingesting more than the prescribed amount of alcohol can lead to a state of altered consciousness known as "drunkeness".
Side effects may include:
1. Loss of motor control
2. Delusions of grandure
3. Yelling and spitting
4. Unwanted pregnancy
5. Karaoke
6. Same-sex hugging/kissing/fondling
7. Steve Correll making an ass of himself on the Colbert Report (see below)...
Remember: Despite what you may believe, your ex-girlfriend is NOT expecting a call from you at 3 a.m. But you should always call just to be sure. Women have been known to wait by the phone for MONTHS after a breakup, in the hopes that their former lover will call. That, my friends is science.
Side effects may include:
1. Loss of motor control
2. Delusions of grandure
3. Yelling and spitting
4. Unwanted pregnancy
5. Karaoke
6. Same-sex hugging/kissing/fondling
7. Steve Correll making an ass of himself on the Colbert Report (see below)...
Remember: Despite what you may believe, your ex-girlfriend is NOT expecting a call from you at 3 a.m. But you should always call just to be sure. Women have been known to wait by the phone for MONTHS after a breakup, in the hopes that their former lover will call. That, my friends is science.
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